Moving On

I started this blog only a few weeks ago. I needed a way to look back at the good moments that I shared with her. I was in such a funk, even though she was gone, those moments were the only thing keeping me afloat.


But I'm done. No more sharing stories. No more reminiscing. No more holding out for hope or a change of heart. When she left she told me she "knew she was making the biggest mistake of her life", but she had to. She's just following her heart. As did I.


She had some unfinished business with someone else, and no matter how much love we shared, that is where her heart was. I wouldn't want someone who wasn't fully invested in me anyhow, I deserve better. She deserves whatever she feels is right for her.


I haven't stopped caring. She crosses my mind multiple times, everyday. I still carry around sadness in my heart. What we had, albeit fast, intense, and brief, it mattered to me and I know, for at least a moment, it did for her too.


I hope her life is filled with happiness and joy. I hope she is wrong and that she didn't make the biggest mistake of her life. I hope she made the right choice. It would be a shame if all of this happened for no reason.


I wouldn't say I'm over her. But I am done with her. I'm done wasting so much time and energy thinking, hoping, praying, and putting it all out for the universe to somehow correct its course. If I really cared for her, her happiness should supersede my own.


The old Matt is back. The one who returned from Hong Kong, ready to take on the world. My heart maybe in pieces, but my spirit is strong and ready to get what is mine. I loved her. I'll always love her. But now it's all about loving me.


 Goodbye, A. May your life be filled with more love and happiness than you could have ever dreamed of.

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