Life goes on

October 2018 feels like a lifetime ago. The overwhelming feelings of loss, sadness, and confusion are now nothing more than an occasional flicker in the back of my mind. A reminder to use caution in all future dealings with love, or what I assume love might be. Friends, family, and even she told me that I'd move on and things would return to "normal." Everyone was right. I've seen her in passing a few times, I don't even think she noticed me, and I didn't feel anything. No sadness, no happiness. There was nothing. I feel bad for that in a way, even though it's exactly what she wanted, because so much of me was wrapped up in "us." But I can honestly say I still have love for her within me. But it doesn't define me. It's just there, and it's more than ok to just be.

Months have passed and life goes on. I've met so many new wonderful people that I wouldn't have if I didn't go through the loss. New life long friends, a few awkward first dates, and a whole lot of laughter along the way. My support structure was magnificent. I'd like to name off all that helped me, but this isn't the Academy Awards, and there's no music to cut me off. So if you ever gave me a pep talk, hit me up, gave me tough love, or let me cry; thank you.

Life is so damn good right now. I haven't ever been happier. My kids amaze me each day with their knowledge, compassion, and humor. My world is full of music that touches me in ways that my fingers can not adequately convey through this keyboard.

So here I sit, smiling and planning on where to take my next vacation. I can honestly say that I am happy with the way things have worked out, and that I am stronger and smarter than I was before it all. With all of that said, I am looking forward to many new journeys across this blue marble we live on with my family and friends.

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make” - The Beatles


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